Crave the Darkness: A Shaede Assassin Novel Read online

  PRAISE FOR

  THE SHAEDE ASSASSIN NOVELS

  BLOOD BEFORE SUNRISE

  “Amanda Bonilla’s Shaede series takes us down an emotional path while drawing us into an action-packed, suspenseful story line that will leave you cheering and crying at the same time. This is one urban fantasy series that maintains a permanent spot on my bookshelf.”

  —Heroes and Heartbreakers

  “Is it possible for an author who writes a stellar ‘knock them out of the ballpark’ first book to write an equally good second installment? Yes. Yes, it is. Amanda Bonilla has proven this with Blood Before Sunrise.”

  —Yummy Men Kick Ass Chicks

  “It was full of everything I love about urban fantasies: The characters are better than ever, the action is always keeping me on my toes, and of course the romance that turns the heat up. This series has climbed to the top of my list as one of my favorites.”

  —Seeing Night Book Reviews

  “Not a single word or scene is wasted, and the payoff at the end is well worth the journey in this fast-paced, mystery-driven plot. With fascinating characters and awesome world building, Blood Before Sunrise is exactly what urban fantasy was meant to be.”

  —Paperback Dolls

  “Apparently, Amanda’s imagination and creativity knows no bounds because Darian is back in full force and the ride is wilder than ever. Aside from the extraordinary world building, this story is uplifting, heartbreaking, eye-opening, and just plain shocking. As for the ending . . . don’t even get me started!”

  —Rabid Reads

  “Up-and-comer Bonilla adds another layer to her intriguing world, packed with treachery and hard-edged danger. Hang on. Darian’s journey looks like it’ll be a very bumpy one!”

  —Romantic Times

  SHAEDES OF GRAY

  “An excellent new author and series . . . a tough yet compelling heroine. Full of fascinating characters, high-stakes intrigue, and fast-paced action, it’s a truly exhilarating adventure! Do not miss out!”

  —Romantic Times (top pick, 4½ stars)

  “A one-of-a-kind, exciting adventure that kicks off from the first page. . . . Urban fantasy readers will want to buy this book.”

  —Night Owl Reviews (top pick, 4½ stars)

  “Truly transcendental as well as gritty . . . an abundance of awesome action, as well as raw romance, all wrapped up in a fast-paced story that is fresh and unparalleled. Shaedes of Gray is going down as one of my favorite new series, and Darian as one of my new favorite heroines.”

  —Heroes and Heartbreakers

  “Thrilling, like an amusement park ride I didn’t want to get off of.”

  —Dark Faeire Tales

  “I loved this novel; it was full of great characters and a seriously entertaining plot that I wished never ended. . . . An unforgettable new series and I can’t wait for the sequel. I highly recommend this novel.”

  —Seeing Night Book Reviews

  “A brand-new series that absolutely wowed me!”

  —The Romance Readers Connection (4½ stars)

  “My kind of urban fantasy. I was hooked from page one, and I can’t wait for book two.”

  —Urban Fantasy Investigations

  “An excellent urban fantasy.”

  —Genre Go Round Reviews

  “Urban fantasy fans will love this one, and I’ll be anxiously awaiting the next book in the series!”

  —My Bookish Ways

  “A one-of-a-kind series and definitely makes me want to stick around for the ride! . . . You want this book!”

  —Wicked Little Pixie

  “A great urban fantasy.”

  —Urban Fantasy Reviews

  Also by Amanda Bonilla

  Shaedes of Gray

  Blood Before Sunrise

  CRAVE

  THE DARKNESS

  A SHAEDE ASSASSIN NOVEL

  AMANDA BONILLA

  SIGNET ECLIPSE

  Published by the Penguin Group

  Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA

  Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.)

  Penguin Books Ltd., 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

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  Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Offices:

  80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

  First published by Signet Eclipse, an imprint of New American Library,

  a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

  Copyright © Amanda Bonilla, 2013

  Excerpt from Shaedes of Gray copyright © Amanda Bonilla, 2011

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

  SIGNET ECLIPSE and logo are trademarks of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

  PUBLISHER’S NOTE

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party Web sites or their content.

  Contents

  Praise

  Also by Amanda Bonilla

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Dedication

  Acknowledgments

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Excerpt from Shaedes of Gray

  For the fighters and the survivors

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  Every time I sit down to write acknowledgments, I go into it thinking I can keep them short and sweet. For the record, my short game sucks.

  As always, so much love and thanks to my family for putting up with me. I love you guys!

  I also have to give a shout-out to my local support team, Nancy, Niki and Cassidy.
Thanks for throwing the best release parties, helping me brainstorm, and listening to all of my crazy ideas.

  Windy Aphayrath and Sarah Bromley, thanks for everything you did to make this book shine.

  To my current Magic and Mayhem sisters, Nadia, Sandy, and Shawntelle, thanks for your support, advice, and sharing your expertise.

  And to my new Magic and Mayhem sister, Amanda Carlson, fairy goatmother to my future baby goats and current fairy goosemother, if I wrote down all of the things I had to thank you for, we’d be here for a year! I would have gone crazy months ago if I hadn’t had you around. I love you so hard!

  Tracey Garvis-Graves, thanks for being there for me this year and sharing your experiences with me. Being able to talk everything out with you has made such a difference in my attitude and game plan the past few months. I owe you one!

  And to my agent, Natanya Wheeler, and my editor, Jhanteigh Kupihea, you guys are amazeballs! You make me feel like I can do anything. In fact, I’ve ordered you both capes to make your superhero status official.

  I owe a huge thanks to the bloggers who have read and reviewed my books over the past year. Without you guys, getting new books into the hands of readers would be much harder. And to the readers, thank you so much for taking a chance on me and Darian. I can’t tell you how much you guys mean to me. I want to give you all a big group hug!

  I also want to thank all of the wonderful people at Signet Eclipse: my cover artist, Cliff Nielsen, and my cover designer, Katie Anderson. Your hard work is so very appreciated!

  I’m pretty sure I’ve missed someone here, as I usually do. Anyway, if I missed you, you know who you are and what you mean to me. I’d like to think that one of these days I’ll remember all of the things, but let’s face it, right now, I’m lucky I remember my own name!

  Chapter 1

  Shadow.

  That’s how I started out; all I was again. A casting of mottled dark. The real me, the me that knew happiness and light, left with him.

  “Darian, pay attention.” Raif turned in his seat and nudged me with his elbow. I blinked at the sound of his whispered words and brought my eyes up to meet the faces staring back at me.

  “Can you repeat the question?”

  The seven members of the Pacific Northwest Territories judicial council exchanged frustrated glances. A murmur spread from one end of the long stone-topped table to the other, and the speaker—a Fae with dark eyes and shining, midnight blue hair—shuffled through her notes before addressing me.

  “Let me see if I have this straight. You refuse to answer to the charges brought against you. Which are”—she glanced down at the paper in front of her as if she needed a reminder—“kidnapping of a high-priority PNT prisoner, as well as . . .”

  I love you.

  Tyler had said those words to me.

  “. . . aiding and abetting . . . conspiracy . . . a treasonous . . .”

  Good-bye, Darian.

  Right before he’d walked out the door.

  My god, is this how a broken heart felt? What I’d felt when Azriel left me was a drop in the bucket compared to the pain I felt now. I was reduced to a hollow shell. Fragile. I wanted nothing more than to feel whole again.

  Raif elbowed me once more, and I snapped to attention, sitting up straight in my seat.

  “. . . in addition to evading PNT authorities and violating section 15-372.1 of chain of command standard operating procedure. Does that cover it?”

  My gaze drifted across the stark white courtroom to the Fae woman, her face coming back into focus. They might as well toss me in jail right here and now. I wouldn’t deny my guilt, and I sure as hell wouldn’t explain myself. Silence hung heavy in the room, and Raif cleared his throat. Apparently, it was my turn to speak.

  “You forgot breaking and entering, conspiracy, and all-around willful disobedience. That covers it.”

  Raif pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and finger, closing his eyes as he released a heavy sigh. When he finally had his temper under control enough to look at me, he slowly shook his head and mouthed the word: Seriously?

  Yeah, well, it wasn’t like I was going to throw myself on the floor and beg for the council’s mercy. Besides, I’d lost everything in this world I gave a damn about. At this point, I had nothing left to lose. The seven PNT council members leaned toward one another, throwing furtive glances my way while they discussed my fate. This was my third hearing in as many months, and I hadn’t given them any more information today than I had at my first arraignment. What had happened after I’d kidnapped Delilah, the Oracle who’d plotted against Raif and the entire Shaede Nation and left the PNT’s Washington Headquarters with her partner in crime, Faolán, was no one’s business but my own.

  “You do realize that by keeping this secret, you may very well face imprisonment. Or worse.” The worried tone of Raif’s harshly whispered words didn’t change my mind. And though I knew he was grateful for my secrecy, he didn’t want to see me punished, either.

  “Doesn’t matter.” I couldn’t muster an ounce of concern in my own voice. I leaned in to Raif so only he heard me. “They can threaten me all they want. I’m not going to endanger your daughter or the natural order by reminding anyone of things best left forgotten.”

  I didn’t give two shits about the PNT’s discipline. Nothing they could dish out would punish me more than I’d already punished myself. My actions had hurt one of the few people in this world I gave a shit about, and destroyed us both in the process.

  Tyler.

  God, it hurt just to think his name. I broke his heart by leaving him without a word of where I was going or when I’d be back. I betrayed our trust by wishing for him to stay put in Seattle, unable to leave the city, while I traipsed around on my adventure to find Brakae, Raif’s daughter. And in the end, my reward was exactly what I deserved: time away from him and the space I needed to decide what I really wanted.

  I didn’t need time. I already knew what I wanted.

  I wanted Tyler.

  But he wasn’t here with me, was he? Apparently, he didn’t think an appropriate length of time had passed for me to get my shit together. I’d tried wishing for him. I’d wished for him almost every day that first month, but he never showed. Jinn magic is full of rules, regulations, and limitations. One of those being that I could wish only for things I really, truly needed. And somehow, the powers that be had determined my want of Tyler wasn’t good enough.

  “Will the accused stand?” So polite, as if she was asking if I’d stay for dinner or something. You’d never guess the council was about to bring down the hammer.

  I pushed my chair out with the backs of my knees and shoved my bound hands against the table in front of me for leverage. The iron cuffs swirled with silver light, charmed to negate my ability to wreak any havoc, if the whim struck. Whenever an accused stood before the council, they were bound with the cuffs. In my case, they prevented me from leaving my corporeal form and weakened me to the point that I couldn’t break the bonds. Lucky for the council, I had no intentions of wreaking havoc of any kind. Not now, or in the future. The fight had pretty much drained right out of me.

  “Since you refuse to speak on your own behalf, and considering we have sworn statements from many eye witnesses, this council has no choice but to—”

  “If it pleases the council . . .” The double doors of the chamber swung wide, and the Shaede High King swept into the room as if he owned the place. “I beg a moment of your time.” Alexander Peck—or to me, just Xander—never turned down an opportunity to show off his dramatic flair, and right now, he claimed center stage.

  “With all due respect, Your Highness,” the blue-haired Fae said, “the time to testify in front of this council has passed.”

  Decked out in what had to have been a ten-thousand-dollar suit, Xander looked as regal as he did imposing. Though his stance was relaxed, his molten caramel eyes sparked with a cold light that dared anyone to turn down his request. I could only imagin
e what he was up to. Maybe he couldn’t stand that I was the center of attention. Or worse, maybe he just wanted to prove that he could throw his weight around.

  “Do I have to remind you about Edinburgh, Amelia?” Oh yeah, Xander definitely wanted to throw his weight around.

  The Fae looked at the questioning faces of her colleagues before she cleared her throat, fidgeting with the cuff of her sleeve. She scooped a glowing, pearlescent ball in her hand and knocked the faerie equivalent of a gavel down on the table twice. “We’ll adjourn for fifteen minutes. Alexander, if you’ll follow us to our private chambers, we’ll hear what you have to say.”

  Xander flashed me an arrogant smile. He waited patiently as the seven council members stood, and then followed in their wake as they walked, single file, from the room. “Sit tight,” he said as he sauntered past Raif and me. “I’ll be back shortly.”

  We sat back down at the same time, and I asked Raif, “What the hell is he up to?”

  “Your guess is as good as mine. We are talking about Xander, after all.”

  Raif leaned back in his seat, staring at the ceiling as if his brother’s plans were written there. I, on the other hand, had no interest in wondering what His Royal High and Mightiness had up his sleeve. Instead, my mind drifted to where it always did lately: the clusterfuck that was my life.

  You’d think I would have lost track of the days since that night Tyler left me. The emerald pendulum that I wore around my neck silenced the sound of time as it ticked within my soul, but I had invisible tally marks etched on my heart. Eighty-seven days, six hours, fifteen minutes, and twenty-two seconds. Twenty-three . . . twenty-four . . . twenty-five . . .

  It’s not like I’d been brooding the entire time. I had a system, alternating between outings for my hearings with the PNT’s judicial council, setting up camp on my bed, answering the door for grocery delivery, and occasionally crashing on the couch while I let the TV lull me to sleep with mind-numbing entertainment. I wasn’t proud of the fact that I knew every single cast member of Jersey Shore down to their cocktails of choice, but it was better than the alternative: allowing my tortured thoughts to drive me to a state of near insanity.